04 August 2008


Ruud: Too Sexy For L.A.?

Rating: 3 (one point for each club Alexi Lalas has trashed)

Sometime in the middle of an Old Overholt and Yuengling-fueled bender this weekend, MLS Rumors² learned from a highly-placed bartender that Red Bull New York Red Bulls brought to you by Red Bull ("Red Bull Park: Coming in 2012!*") are considering replacing manager Juan Carlos Osorio with soon-to-be-unemployed Galaxy manager Ruud Gullit. Earlier this afternoon, our source came through, forwarding the following email from his best friend's sister's boyfriend, who served Jeff Agoos ice cream at 31 Flavors last night (apparently, it's pretty serious):
Goose told me that Gullit is exactly the kind of high-profile international failure that Red Bull tradition demands. Firmani, Queiroz, Parreira, Mondelo, Milutinovic, Zambrano, Johnston...that's some legacy. JCO has really lived up to that legacy, but his 9-month contract is about up, and it's time for Red Bull to find a manager to lead them through next year's all-star break. It's all about leveraging that legacy of high-profile failure into value for the Red Bull brand. Remember, Phase 1: high profile failures at manager and on the field (Lothar, Reyna, etc.); Phase 2: ???; Phase 3: PROFIT!

Looks like it's going to be a real race to the finish between MLS Super Clubs Red Bulls and the Galaxy as the season winds down!

UPDATE: a closely-placed source, who wishes to remain anonymous, has informed MLS Rumors² that Red Bulls will only agree to a deal if they are required to provide compensation to the Chicago Fire, presumably in the form of draft picks and/or cash. "It's the Red Bull way," he said.

* Offer not valid in Harrison, New Jersey.


Revelation said...

Wait, are you sure about this... I've been hearing rumblings that Lothar Mathaeus was going to bring his unique management-style and supreme work ethic to Red Bull New York Red Bulls.

dadman said...

What, no love for The Bruce? How could you leave the most successful US National Team coach off the Roll Call of Traditional Underperforming Coaches?

For shame. Given Agoos' connection with his old UVa coach, this omission throws the veracity of this story into SERIOUS doubt. How could he avoid dropping that name while enjoying his tasty and lovingly-prepared frozen bovine secretions?

EdTheRed said...

Both The Bruce and Cheatin' Bob are high-profile *domestic* failures...they never really fit in up there. ABMOD wasn't a failure at all, and was therefore forced out before he could achieve any meaningful success...