10 July 2010

Breaking: Beckerman Seeks Octopus' Advice

Kyle Beckerman is reportedly seeking the advice of Paul the Octopus regarding the future of his hair. The Real Salt Lake standout is making a decision on keeping his current hairstyle or sporting one of those Freddie Ljungberg landing strip mohawks.

After asking his normal consultative and decision making assistant, the Magic 8 Ball, if he should keep his current style, the Magic 8 Ball said:

Mr. Beckerman decided that he needed a better oracle of wisdom and knowledge. Enter Paul the Octopus.

No word yet if Paul is willing to venture an oracle regarding such a monumental decision, however, his handlers are rumored to be seeking additional revenue streams taking advantage of the cephalopods' predictive abilities.

09 July 2010

Latest: MLS Rumors Rumors Staff Found!

Yes, after weeks of not posting or postings regarding some piddly little tournament halfway around the world, we here at MLS Rumors Rumors have found our staff. They were literally passed out drunk in the basement of a local bar. One was mumbling over and over again: "Please, I won't quote you, but tell me what did Sebastian Veron's hair stylist say about Messi's interest in Real Salt Lake..."

So, never fear, we will be back to regularly scheduled news updates any minute now!