DC United Introduces Ben Olsen as New Head Coach

Introductory statements from KP and Benny at today's press conference:

Breaking: DC United to Select New Coach

This just in from the Internet rumor mill. Reviled manager Jose Mourinho is looking to escape the troubles of Real Madrid and is looking for a quiet place to unwind and go on the lam.

Could he be the next DC United manager?

Mourinho is just crazy enough to get the genius of Kevin Payne and Dave Kasper.