19 January 2011

BREAKING: DC United Trades 2012 Picks For Beer, Ham Sandwich

Washington, DC:

MLS Rumors Rumors has received word from Kevin Payne's wife's hairdresser's bartender's cousin that DC United has traded all of its 2012 MLS Supah! Draft and Supplah-MENTAL! Draft picks to Houston in exchange for six cases of Dos Equis and a ham sandwich.

Kevin Payne (artist's depiction)

Taylor Gourmet, Rumored Home of United's Incoming Ham Sandwich

We contacted KP for comment, and he confirmed the move, stating: "Ah, fuck it, we weren't gonna do anything with those picks anyway. At least Houston might actually draft someone we can identify as a possible trade target in a few years. Plus, the ham sandwich will come from a deli of our choice. We haven't made a final decision yet, but we're leaning towards Taylor Gourmet on H St. "

When asked why Dos Equis, of all beer, KP replied: "I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Stay thirsty, my friends!"

Don't worry, KP, it's gonna take United supporters more than just one or two beers to make it through this season.