Galaxy Foursome Makes Pilgrimage to Emerald City

EMERALD CITY, OZ, Aug. 8, 2008: Seeking to pull their team out of the tailspin that threatens to leave their 2008 season in a smoking crater, four members of the Los Angeles Galaxy organization traveled to the Emerald City in search of assistance from legendary recluse, the Great and Powerful Anschutz.

The group consisted of Galaxy General Manager Alexi Lalas, Manager Ruud Gullit, forward Landon Donovan, and midfielder David Beckham. MLS Rumors² has learned that each group member is seeking specific assistance from Anschutz. Our source on the inside, known to us only as "Toto," sent us the following:
"They were singing the whole way there...it started with Lalas:"

I could while away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my guitar, I'd be pluckin'
And my trades they'd stop a suckin'
If I only had a brain.

"Then Ruud chimed in:"

When a man's an empty vessel
He can't with troubles wrestle
And so I'm torn apart
But I'm sure I'd give some tosses
About the wins and losses
If I only had a heart.

"And then Landon had to have his say:"

Yeah, it's sad, believe me missy,
When you're born to be a sissy,
With the skill but not the verve.
But I could show some stones-a,
And go back to old Europa,
If I only had the nerve

Beckham just kinda looked at them, all sad like, and then he sang, too...and a beautiful song it was:

Somewhere over the ocean
Way up north
Lies Engerland where I came from
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the ocean
Refs don't eat paste
And the crosses you whip in
Really don't go to waste

Some day I'll sign a new contract
And wake up where the fog and rain surround me
Where rich men munch on prawns and lasses
Away above the unwashed masses
That's where you'll find me

"I don't think it went too well for them, though," concluded Toto, "because when they came out of their meeting with the Great and Powerful Anschutz, Lalas looked at me and said, 'Cobi, what do you think about moving to Kansas...City, that is?'"