01 August 2008

Breaking News Alert: Scarf Machine on Life Support After Bad Weather

Yes, loyal readers of MLS Rumors Rumors, we have discovered the secret that DC United sought to withhold from all of you loyal fans. The DC United Scarf Machine is out of order. According to sources inside RFK, they saw a horror show on the
Rumored Scarf Machine
fourth floor of the concourse during the water-logged game against Houston Dynamo. Apparently, all the power problems at RFK affected more than the lights, they blew out the transducer for the Scarf Machine – leaving it unable to function. DC United officials still refuse to acknowledge the existence of the Scarf Machine, so provided us with only the following statement: “I’m not sure what you are on about. A mythical Scarf Machine on the fourth floor of RFK? What do you think caused the lights to go out? Oops…”


Agent 009 said...

Well it does require 1.1 Gigawatts of power. Otherwise the flux capacitor won't fully engage.

I'm waiting for the invention of Mr. Fusion. They might have to go nuclear if it doesn't turn up soon.

BigKris said...

You posted a picture of the Scarf Machine with all of its compartments and doors open! What have you done! Now rivals (like that fly-by-night operation "skarfcreator") will be able to reverse-engineer the scarf machine's inner workings!

phillyblue said...

Now you've gone too far. No revealing the scarf machine!

Revelation said...

I'll have you know that here at MLS Rumors², we are not scared of the truth. We can handle the truth! And when you look deep into you heart, you will realize that you need to have us up there on the line, ready and able to handle the truth!

KingTuchas said...

Agent 009, you're 0.11 gigawatss short! It's 1.21 gigawatts!

And phillyblue is right. The first rule of Scarf Machine is: You don't discuss Scarf Machine.