20 April 2010

DC United Looks Forward to the World Cup

Four matches into the season and four losses on the books, DC United’s front office is apparently looking for the World Cup to distract fans from the abysmal display of football at RFK. According to a local source that may have overheard several front office bigwigs at lunch, DC United believes that the World Cup will be a marketing bonanza for the struggling MLS team. Our source believes one of the executives said:

“Look, we can keep our fans thinking that we will bring in a big World Cup star after the tournament. That will hold them until July, no matter how many losses we rack up. And then post-World Cup if we announce we are making a few fact-finding and scouting missions, Chang will cover our vacations. By the time the fans are the wiser, it will be August and DC United will be pushed off the radar by the Redskins. This could work…”

Attempts to think about calling DC United were unsuccessful and no one at the club was given the opportunity to deny or confirm our suspicions.

1 comment:

EdTheRed said...

"Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed supporters' groups, if Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must renew! Look at the monkey! Look at the silly monkey!"