22 July 2008

Landon Donovan Stoked

According to SuperAgentDan Motzkin, Landon Donovan has drawn significant interest from the leading clubs of Engerland.

"The older I get and the more I play, the more I'm yearning for that highest level I can play at" cooed the official dreamboat of the top flight of American soccer. Dangling participles aside, the American #10 surely must be valued by some teams in England. The former Redlands High School Terrier followed up with this shot across the bow of any Ugly Bettys of the Football League: "I think the Premiership would be the best place the play."

Former agent of Freddy Adu and Jozy Altidore, Motzkin reassured any hyperventilating supporters of the US national team by snarling that any potential swoopers would be, "ones that play entertaining, attacking and technical soccer."

Look out Barclay's Premier League! Landycakes is coming to Stoke and you're all going broke!

Contrary to erroneous reports from edthered, my sources are rock solid. I spoke to Landon's Brazilian Wax Technician just the other day.

5 comments:

EdTheRed said...

Oh yeah? Well, if your sources are so good, how come you don't even have a rating on your post, and mine has a 5?

Agent 009 said...

Because, my dear boy, all of my items are 5 star. I need not rate them.

EdTheRed said...

Well, he *does* have a tampon in his nose...that's pretty much the same as 5 stars...

Anonymous said...

I'm sensing a bidding war in the brewing...

hornplayersoccerlover said...

Somebody needs to do a "lolcat" type caption for that picture: "Smokin': ur doin it wrong."