23 July 2008

MLS Identifies New Referee Trainer

Rating: 3 (Stone-Cold Lock)

Executives at MLS are apparently excited about their target for training MLS referees. This was an unexpected move for MLS, who really had not been searching for someone to work to improve the referee situation. Normally, the USSF provides the training for MLS referees, but sources at MLS HQ indicated that the change was brought on by an amazing set of circumstances this morning in Washington DC. Long-time columnist Robert Novak struck a pedestrian with his corvette this morning and, in a dramatic turn of events, not only did not notice but actually continued to drive with the pedestrian splayed across the car's hood. Novak was apparently completely oblivious to the situation. Our source's bartender tells us that MLS executives found this blatant disregard for an infraction appealing and are hopeful that Novak can bring this level of indifference and lack of awareness to MLS referees: "Look, with this kind of ability, all of our referees could be on par with Abbey [Okulaja]."

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