13 May 2010

Writers Union Condemns "Unserious, Emotional" Fans

NEW YORK, 13 May 2010: The Writers Union of Soccer Scribes (WUSS) today released a statement regarding fan reaction to the exclusion of forward Charlie Davies from the U.S. World Cup roster:

Y'all are just a bunch of whiny-ass titty babies. You stupid fanbois need to realize that Charlie Davies suffered serious injuries, and never had any chance of making the preliminary roster of 30 players, let alone the final 23. Never. There was no chance. This is real life, you dumbass Polyannas. Real. Fucking. Life.

What, you think just because nearly all of our reporting leading up to the roster announcement indicated that Davies would be in the 30, that meant you should get your hopes up? How fucking naive are you? Wait, wait, that wasn't a rhetorical question: you are extremely naive. If you were Very Serious, like we are, you'd understand that there never was any hope of Davies making it to Princeton, let alone South Africa.

Hah hah! Silly little fanbois! WUSS laughs at your childish dreams!

What, you think that just because our own reporting now indicates that Davies was under serious consideration until just a few days ago, when the President of Davies's club sent a letter to the USSF saying that Davies is not medically cleared by the club, and that they would therefore not release him, that means that he ever had a prayer of making the 30? Please. Grow up and get serious. Your childish anger only makes you more pathetic.

To sum up, the fact that so many of you were completely blindsided by Davies's exclusion from the roster has nothing whatsoever to do with WUSS completely blowing the story, and everything to do with your own childish imaginations. Grow the fuck up, losers.


Anonymous said...

And don't forget the rush to condemn Charlie for skipping curfew even though no one decided to take a stand against the in the past seven months. Now it's his fault.

Anonymous said...
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