Surprisingly, fans of Seattle Sounders FC believe that they are the best fans in the league, according to a poll taken at a drinking establishment in downtown Seattle. Results indicate that 95% of Seattle fans believe their club is not only the best on the field but also off the field. They cited things like the cool colors and the anti-corporate messages as reasons the Seattle fans are far superior to other MLS fans.
“Our numbers are awesome. Before us, MLS was about as popular as USL-2! We put them on the map. No one had ever heard of the Los Angeles Galaxy or DC United before we came along. We are so cool! We have more fans in our pinky finger than most clubs in their whole bodies.”
The small minority that believed Seattle fans [are not the best in MLS -ed.] were asked to please leave or face ultraviolence because they were obviously corporate shills looking to infiltrate the “movement”.