“It must have been sometime around the 50th minute, I was watching the match and then all of a sudden everything went black! The Red Bull New York Red Bulls of Harrison, New Jersey were making an attacking move and that was the last thing I saw. I don’t know what happened! I haven’t been able to see anything since then!”
Some fans are resorting to homemade anti-depressants
Fans are being told to report to physicians immediately for assistance. The American Psychiatric Association is advocating that all DC United fans take large doses of anti-depressants. According to a certain Sunday evening TV show, it is possible to cook up some home-made anti-depressants in your basement if you do not have health insurance and cannot wait until 2041 for the recent healthcare bill to go into effect.