08 June 2010

Portugal's Nanny out of the World Cup party

In a disappointing development today, it was overheard at local watering hole Paddy McDrunkey's that the young Portuguese nanny who lives with the family over in the next neighborhood had hurt her shoulder trying something "acrobatic" in "training" this week. Slightly awkward moments followed when local US fan-boys scrambled to cancel the invitation to the host family designed to lure the unsuspecting 22 year old caregiver into the "man-cave" of local soccer fanatic Brandon Jordan.

"We were totally bummed man. This is, like, the best time to connect with foreign hotties, and we really weren't interested in seeing her employers and their two little brats" said Jordan, the host of the upcoming festivities.

Popular internet message board service, BigSoccer.com was rife with speculation as to how the injury occurred. Some posters, like DeuceizDAMan84 suggested that perhaps one of the children ran past the young woman and knocked her down the stairs. Others, like 3 year member GoochBigelow suggested more prurient and outrageous possibilities involving grooming implements and slick bathroom tile floors.

When asked, the young Nanny claimed to be practicing her bicycle kicks in the back alley and landing awkwardly on her shoulder. She is says she will miss up to 2 weeks of prime chillaxing time at nerdy American male domiciles. It is her hope that by the time the knock-out stage commences, she will have a better offer from more a mature and comfortably situated man.

When confronted by the crisis, Sunil Gulati tried in vain to calm down the panicky fanatics.
The US Soccer supremo quietly suggested that Jordan and his band of smoothies put in an emergency call to the nanny service to see if any acceptable replacements lived within a 1 hour drive of the party location. Luckily, a trio of possible replacements were located. Unluckily, the three potential fill-ins saw creepy photos of Jordan on Facebook involving a bandanna, a Clint Dempsey bobble-head, a spent road flare, and a shocking lack of appropriate undergarments.
Too bad.

1 comment:

Revelation said...

That is a devastating injury.It is just a sad tale of woe. I hope she recovers fully.