31 July 2009

BREAKING: TFC Fans To Protest Protesting

TFC Supporters Discuss Upcoming Protest Of Protests

TORONTO, 31 July, 2009: A group of disgruntled Toronto FC supporters are organizing a protest of protesting by their fellow TFC Supporters. In a recent exclusive interview with MLS Rumors², Droz, a spokesperson for the group explained:
I don't have a lot of time to say this, but I gotta get something off my chest.

Last Tuesday, we played a CONCACAF Champions League match, and I thought that we all finally got along. We had a good time. But we got so many protests, we broke so many rules...that we got beer sales cut off. You know, it used to be the FO's job to make rules. It used to be us against them. Now it's us against us. I've been here four years and I gotta tell you guys...what's going on here is about Canada.

It's about democracy. It's about having pictures of ducks and the Queen on our money, the T-Hip, Kraft dinner, and Tim Horton's. It's about exporting sketch comedy to the U.S. It's about poutain, lager that's only slightly less pathetic than the stuff from the States, Great Big Sea, and Anne of Green Gables. It's about the Maple Leafs never winning the Stanley Cup, great strip clubs, and kind bud. It's about road signs in French out in British Columbia, and no English on signs anywhere in Quebec. It's about the Metric System! It's about everything that makes this country great. Our country!

We can do something about this. We can finally say...that when some people are having a good time...and drinking some beers, throwing some streamers...that we're not gonna protest.

In fact, I promised myself I wouldn't do this. I'm sorry. If we could just say that, if only to each other...just this one time...that we're not gonna protest.

That we're not gonna protest?

We're not gonna protest! We're not gonna protest! We're not gonna protest!

1 comment:

dadman said...

How could Droz leave the Guess Who? out of that lineup of what makes Canada the Best Little Brother Evah?!?

I call shennanigans! Droz (if that's your real name!), you have GOT to be a draft dodger from the States, fleeing the all-volunteer army fighting in Iraq... Turn in your flannel shirt, you faux Canadian!