BREAKING: Blanco Officially "Beyond Parody"

CHICACO, 17 August, 2008: Chicago Fire midfielder Cuahtemoc Blanco offically moved "beyond parody," according to a panel of MLS Rumors Rumors staff writers. This follows the volatile player's post-game quote that his own team's supporters (who were protesting allegedly racist behavior by stadium security) are "[garbage]." Of course, he didn't really say "garbage," but the Tribune is a family newspaper, so we here at MLS Rumors Rumors don't know what actual slur Blanco used. Feel free to let us know in the comments, since, well, we're not a family blog.

Mr. White celebrates an own-goal in front of Section 8

The slander was rendered extra-super-duper ironic, as it comes on the heels of Blanco's own run-ins with police and stadium security.

"There's just nothing we can make up that even approaches what Blanco does all on his own," said one MLS Rumors Rumors writer. "I mean, seriously, this guy has a disciplinary record a mile long (*cough* domesticviolence *cough*), and he's criticizing his own team's supporters as drunks and [garbage]? Wow. We just can't top that. It's not even worth trying. Frankly, I'm rather disillusioned by this whole situation. This has to be the lowest point of my making shit up career."