Rumor: Colorado to Boost Attendance with Stick Promotion

Colorado stadium with their typical crowd.

We have heard about it from a source that has been to Commerce City, the Colorado Rapids are going to have a unique promotion to boost their sagging attendance numbers. Colorado is considering offering a bible stick to the first 7,000 fans entering the stadium. The stick would consist of a several bible verses carved into a natural wood rod that can be used internally to maintain the proper respect and adherence to strict principles of conduct and discipline. These bible sticks are quite popular in Colorado and the Rapids’ Front Office is hopeful that the promotion will bring in the right sort of fans that can help get rid of the pesky “hard core supporters” that insist on making noise during the match.

There is something in the water, isn't there...

Actual poll from Colorado Rapids website.

MLS Rumors Rumors brings you the latest information about exciting promotions at ****'s Sporting Goods Stadium. When you attend a match at the ****, you know that you are in for a real treat. From mind-numbingly awesome tactics and formations from the clever mind of coach-for-life Fernando Clavijo (we believe he is being offered a 20 year deal worth $3.5 million), to the treatment of any 'disruptive' behavior, to the censoring of the stadium name, you get it all at the **** in Commerce City, Colorado and those crazy promotional deals are icing on the cake. So it is without question that the recent poll on the Colorado Rapids website would be filled with exciting things awaiting fans at the ****. However, we've uncovered the information that Stan Kroenke doesn't want fans to know about... The promotional ideas that did not make it: Clavijo punching (everyone gets one shot at Fernando), Stick up the Backside Give-away (first 10,000 fans get a free Colorado Rapids themed stick to put up their backsides to replace their current bible themed one), Bible Give-Away (first 10,000 fans get a free Colorado Rapids 'Holier than Thou' bible), and Family Friendly Night (every fan must bring a legal spouse and two children under the age of 8 to the match). The last one was leading in the running among the board members until the ticket guy pointed out that they were only two matches away from complete success in driving out every non-family fan that might attend a Rapids game.