04 August 2010

Rumor: Kinnear Looking at DC Castoffs

After DC United boss Kevin Payne suggested that players not living up to DC United standards can look elsewhere, Houston coach Dominic Kinnear is licking his chops (well Wade Barrett's chops) in anticipation. MLS Rumors Rumors has it on good authority of a certain person that has been to Texas (and not just the Alamo either!), that Kinnear is keen on several DC United players.

"Last time they were tired of a player, we shipped them some of our dead weight and got Bobby Boswell. Once we nipped that bobbyboswell.com crap in the bud, he became a useful player. I can think of any number of guys up there in DC that would welcome a club with a good atmosphere, tradition of winning, excellent coaching, and an actual stadium that doesn't have rats, cats, and racoons."

Kevin Payne's response was straight forward:

"They can talk to them if they would like to get sued. But I don't think it will come to that because Dominic Kinnear is a gentleman. We have no intention to have any of our players come to Houston for a trial. They are under contract and if anybody tries to talk to them, we are prepared to file a lawsuit. This is DC. It's American contract law that applies here. Local law prevails. We have not been contacted. I am quite confident that if Houston wanted to talk to us about our players, Dominic would call me. They are all very, very special."


Tinhat said...

Once again MLSRumorsRumors obscures the real story while focusing on a bunch of hot air. The real story is found in your "throwaway" line about Racoons, Rats and Cats at RFK.

If you think the team and front office suck, well what about the fucking Cats? You know gentetically programmed and evolved over millions of years to eat rats, raccoons and other vermin.

If the cats were doing their job, there should be no rats or raccoons in RFK, just a pile of bones deep in a corner of the Elephant room.

Cats don't need coaching, they are built to kill, yet apparently the RFK squad doesn't have that "more" missing from United in general. Are they somehow the feline Troy Perkins and forgotten their basics, allowing vermin to slip between their legs as they flail about?

Or has the mysterious malaise that has taken hold at the club grown so powerful that the genetic structure of animals is mutating? Perhaps Kevin Payne and his lackeys are practicing dark arts and invoking powers with which they have no business associating with.

Unless you are beholden to MLS or are closet Paynistas, I beg you to investigate this story waiting to be told.

Revelation said...

Of course there is no cat conspiracy at RFK. The cats at RFK are perfectly capable of killing the rodents and other vermin. However, we have had a spate of hamstring injuries among our feline friends. It has really reduced their effectiveness. That is all, nothing more, nothing to say about their inability to work as a team and to work at cross purposes or for the lack of awareness and the ability to fall asleep at the most inopportune times. These play no role. The only problem is the damn injuries.

Lagerfat said...

well when people are creating turmiol in the stands by trying to create a breakaway group, its going to spew onto the RFK cats, just like what happens in RFK rat tunnels spews into the stands.