26 May 2010

Breaking: Reaction on Ching

Two US States are in mourning tonight after Brian Ching's exclusion from the US World Cup squad. Texas, the current home of the Houston 1836 Dynamo, where Mr. Ching plays his soccer, and Hawaii, the birthplace of Mr. Ching.

"It is like Bob Bradley personally spat in my face." stated one disgruntled Houston Dynamo Fan.

Speculation on whether Hawaiian Governor Linda Lingle will make a call to another famous Hawaiian, President Barack Obama, is rampant.

"We know that Bob Bradley and some others will be meeting with the Big Kahuna himself. If he could just drop a line, like 'hey, you know that Gitmo is nice this time of year' or 'Why are there no Hawaiians on the team?', maybe Bob will change his mind. Otherwise, Hawaii will have to yet again face the prospect of no representation at the World Cup!"

The front office of the Houston Dynamo should probably say:

"While we are tremendously pleased to have Brian Ching back in our side for our upcoming games, he was really looking forward to the World Cup. We will be toning our orange jersey's to half blinding for the duration of the Cup to honor him. Unless he blows another hamstring or misses a bunch of goals, in which case, we will admit that Bob Bradley does really know all."

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