24 August 2009

Confidential: Diamond Jack's E-mail Revealed

From: Diamond Jack
Date: August 13, 2009
Re: Seattle's USOC Bid

Dear Mr. Rumorsrumors,

It has come to our attention that you are the most reliable news outlet discussing the recent controversy regarding the US Open Cup Final venue. We would like to say that we firmly believe the process run by our colleagues at US Soccer is as open, fair, and reliable as any run by CONCACAF, FIFA, and the Trinidad & Tobago FA. We know that they looked at the various options brought in the bids and compared them on the merits. For example, if one club was willing to pony up some assets to assure that the US Soccer decision committee could make their evaluation and decision in a place of relaxation and enjoyment, instead of from the stressful location of their offices, that club should be viewed more favorably than another. If one club understands the demands placed upon individual members of such committees and pro-actively provides those members with appreciation and thanks, that club should recieve the benefit of the doubt. This is the way the world works and no amount of finger pointing and suggestions of impropriety will change that.

We know that the entire US Soccer organization is above reproach and we have thoroughly enjoyed working with them. We look forward to continuing our thankless tasks in football together and will enjoy seeing them at the spa in South Africa, which was provided free-of-charge from one such appreciative FA.

Best Regards,


PS: I regret to tell you that phone service in Trinidad & Tobago is somewhat spotty. We can only assure a good connection through heavy monetary investments, which we fund through our Diamond Jack Footy Tours operation. According to our records, not enough US fans travelling to Mexico for the recent qualifier chose our company and we were unable to pay for our phone services. Diamond Jack likes to put a call in to the referee before the match to assure a fair and unbiased performance, which he was unable to do for this match. We are sorry that the events of the day demonstrated the need for such a phone call. In the future, it would help us all if you could tell your readers to choose Diamond Jack Footy Tours for all their travel needs.

This e-mail is to be embargoed until August 24, 2009. We also request that broadcasters refer to "The" Diamond Jack of Diamond Jack Footy Tours, so as not to confuse people with the other Diamond Jack, who runs a snake farm in Florida.

No comments: