REID: A Sad, Confused Man in ChesterCHESTER, PA, 2 December, 2008:
The groundbreaking ceremony for the new soccer-specific stadium in Chester (Motto: Who Needs a Grocery Store When You've Got a Casino?) went horribly awry yesterday when an apparently disoriented Andy Reid, the coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, crashed the ceremony and repeatedly threw a red flag into the line of dignitaries waiting to dig the ceremonial first shovelfuls* of dirt. According to a source who was present at the confused scene:
Coach Reid just kinda wandered in, wearing his headset and everything. It looked like he'd been drinking, and the smell of Cheetos was overpowering...anyways, he just keeps throwing this red flag into the line of shovels. Throwing it, picking it up, and throwing it again. I didn't think he'd ever stop. Finally, some guy wearing a blue and yellow scarf grabbed a megaphone and announced: "Upon further review, the player was down by contact before crossing the plane. The ruling on the field stands. Philadelphia is charged a timeout." Then Reid just picked up the flag one last time and shuffled off in the direction of the highway. It was just bizarre, man. And sad, too.
*Note: I'd have thought it'd be "shovelsful," but spell-check has spoken.