Yeah, it's that cool.Ah, the City of Roses! (Then again, Baltimore is "Charm City," so I wouldn't be surprised to discover that there aren't, in fact, any roses in Portland at all.) Home of one of the top supporters groups in that portion of North America that lies above the Rio Grande, the Timbers Army. Does Portland have what it takes to merit an MLS expansion side? Let's find out...
Dining: 4 A city that takes its food seriously. We thought about awarding a bonus point for Portland's alleged status as a mecca for vegetarians, but we love ourselves some meat, so we didn't.
Entertainment: 4 Bonus point for live music scene.
Site-Seeing: 4 Half a bonus point for a lively arts scene, and half a bonus point for outdoorsy-type shit, which some people might want to take in.
"Entertainment": 4 Bonus point because one of the hottest women this blogger went to college with spent a couple of years moonlighting as an "entertainer" in Portland...or maybe it was Seattle...whatever...[pauses to dial up "Centerfold" on iPod]
Drinking: 5 Mmmmmmm...beer. Beer in brewpubs. Beer in movie theaters. Yummy, yummy, malty, hoppy beer. Gallons and gallons of The Good Stuff. Certified top-notch brew. None of that Beer-Like Product they pawn off on the vulgar masses in St. Louis. Real f'ing beer. More breweries than Cologne, Germany. Mentioned by the late, great Michael Jackson (the sane one) as a candidate for Beer Capital of the World. If that's not worth 5 points, nothing is.
Climate: 4 Bonus point for relative lack of summer humidity (compared to, say, Miami, Houston, DC, or Atlanta).
Oh! Looks like Portland is tied with Vancouver with 25 points...
But wait! We're awarding one Big Rob Bonus Point for proximity to the Emerald Triangle! Which means...
Final Score: 26 out of 30! We have a new front-runner