22 September 2008

INCOMING: Lalas to Columbus

Rating: 3.0 (one for every club Alexi has trashed)

MLS Rumors² has learned that, in a shock move, the Columbus Crew will soon be announcing the hiring of Alexi Lalas as president, GM, Director of Football Operations, and "Lord High Everything Else". According to our source, a bartender at a Columbus area Applebee's:
Things have been going so well, the bigwigs up at corporate are afraid the team might start turning a profit again. The last time that happened, they had to dump McBride and bring in Andrulis to keep their tax write-off in the red. They really thought they had things figured out with Sigi, but then the damn team started winning, and then needed a Plan B. They figured, hey, no one is better at killing franchises than Alexi...I mean, NO ONE. So they called him up, and, surprise surprise, he was available.
Lalas the Clown: Ohio-bound?
Crew officials did not respond to our requests for comment.


dadman said...

I'll take anything that might stop the Yellow Juggernaut. Anything.

And a double of the rail special from the bartendrix, too.

kevin said...

My local pizza delivery guy also confirmed this move. It must be true.

Anonymous said...

Someone should make the obligatory comment that if Lalas fires sigi, the next coach would have some large pants to fill.