Spanish RFEF: Houston, You Don't Have a Problem

MADRID, 13 October 2008: The Spanish Football Federation (RFEF) today responded to racist comments made by a Houston Dynamo supporter towards DC United goalkeeper Louis Crayton at Robertson Stadium in Houston, Texas following the completion of yesterday's MLS match between United and the Dynamo. RFEF spokesman Jorge Carretero told reporters:

The Dynamo were quick to ban the supporter because of his racist statements. But the fans that go to Robertson are as fantastic as they are in Spain. The RFEF is quite certain that this supporter is as pure at heart as the fans who go to the Bernabeu. Therefore, the RFEF would like to invite this supporter to join us in Spain for our upcoming friendly against England, which will be played wherever the Spanish Federation thinks is best. We will even provide him a complimentary ticket in the section of Columbus Crew supporters who have already committed to attending.

Well then. Thanks for clearing that up for us Jorge, on what I know must have been a busy day for you.

INTRIGUE :: Domino Effect

Rating :: 3

In a startling move, Domino Sugar has made a political play over the upcoming FIFA World Cup CONCACAF Region Second Round Group Stage qualifying match between these United States of America and Cuba. Leadership at the company has reportedly demanded, via CIA pouch, that the match not be played unless a guarantee of at least 6 defections can be delivered to corporate HQ by kickoff time (7:00 PM) on matchday (Oct. 11). Representatives of the company declined requests for comment. Multiple bartenders in Baltimore watering holes near the Domino Factory in the rapidly gentrifying neighborhoods of South Baltimore have provided MLSRumors² with some juicy scoopage on the rumored move.

According to Lucky, from Patapsco, who incidentally got that nickname from playing the ponies down at Pimlico, top brass at the factory have been making noise about their desire to see "a couple more Galindos playing in the MLS." Lucky also tells us that one of the managers mentioned some bitterness by some of the old timers at the company about Castro's seizure of sugar plantations in Cuba following the revolution led by himself and World Armchair Revolutionary Logo Merchandising Icon™ Ernesto "Che" Guevara in the late 50s.

It remains to be seen what will happen at RFK Stadium on Saturday evening. Will USSF bow to pressure from the Sugar giant? We shall see.

Oh no, not again...

One of our favorite whipping posts on MLS Rumors Rumors comes through again. After spending a lot of time hanging out in bars, hair salons, coffee houses, and pizza joints looking for rumors about rumors, we find ourselves only needing to glance at the Colorado Rapids' website for a chuckle. Under the banner of "wear your best Carlos Valderama costume", the Rapids are making up for their lackluster relations with their fans by entertaining a costume party at Dick's Stadium. And rumor has it that there will also be a soccer match in conjunction with this halloween event. So, now you are being asked to show up to Dick's Stadium incognito so that you can avoid the embarrassment of actually being identified as a Rapids fan.

MLS appeal for sanctions on FIFA

According to rumors surrounding MLS HQ, at a meeting between MLS Supremo Don Garber and US Vice President Dick Cheney, Garber has asked the United States government to levy sanctions against the Swiss-based FIFA. Why you might ask? Everyone knows there are questionable the practices at Football's governing body and that many people dislike the running of the organization, but sanctions do seem a bit out of place. The spat is due to FIFA's unwillingness to accomodate MLS' schedule in their plans for qualification. According to Garber, MLS cannot take a break for FIFA dates, so they lobbied for FIFA to reconsider their international dates. In response, Sepp Blatter told MLS officials that their request was not helpful to the promotion of all things FIFA.

Blatter: MLS is not doing all it can to promote FIFA.

MLS officials then held an internal meeting determine their next course of action. After review of US policy on countries and organizations that do not cave to the US way of thinking, MLS decided to begin their retaliation by imposing sanctions, having exhausted diplomatic efforts. However, MLS Rumors Rumors has learned that this is not all that Garber has for options. According to a source in the document replication and disposal unit of MLS HQ, Garber has already reached out to people about putting together a commando raid on FIFA HQ and has investigated joining the G-14 clubs (i.e. the now 18 or more European clubs that want to break from UEFA to earn more money in a European Super League instead of domestic competitions) and has talked about having a word with "Diamond" Jack. Stay tuned here for updates on this developing rumor.

Rumor: DC United to send Richmond Kickers to Mexico

MLS Rumors² has learned that DC United plans to sign the entire roster of USL-2 side Richmond Kickers to developmental contracts, in order to send the Kickers to Mexico City to face Mexican power Cruz Azul in a CONCACAF Champions League match. According to an employee of a Maggie Moo's in downtown Washington, DC:

KP [Kevin Payne, natch] was in here this morning, and he was ranting about the Champions League. He said, "Goddammit, the [radio edit] Islanders are 2-0, and f'ing Montreal got a draw against Atlante...I mean, I'm sick of this [poop]! You know what? You know what? If the USL is so [flibber-gibbered] great, why don't we just sign the [schpadoinkle] Kickers, and send them to Mexico instead! Hey, wait a minute...You taking this down, Sheldon?"