Breaking: Reaction on Ching

Two US States are in mourning tonight after Brian Ching's exclusion from the US World Cup squad. Texas, the current home of the Houston 1836 Dynamo, where Mr. Ching plays his soccer, and Hawaii, the birthplace of Mr. Ching.

"It is like Bob Bradley personally spat in my face." stated one disgruntled Houston Dynamo Fan.

Speculation on whether Hawaiian Governor Linda Lingle will make a call to another famous Hawaiian, President Barack Obama, is rampant.

"We know that Bob Bradley and some others will be meeting with the Big Kahuna himself. If he could just drop a line, like 'hey, you know that Gitmo is nice this time of year' or 'Why are there no Hawaiians on the team?', maybe Bob will change his mind. Otherwise, Hawaii will have to yet again face the prospect of no representation at the World Cup!"

The front office of the Houston Dynamo should probably say:

"While we are tremendously pleased to have Brian Ching back in our side for our upcoming games, he was really looking forward to the World Cup. We will be toning our orange jersey's to half blinding for the duration of the Cup to honor him. Unless he blows another hamstring or misses a bunch of goals, in which case, we will admit that Bob Bradley does really know all."

Obama Weighs in on Seattle Controversy

Having read the recent diatribe from Seattle Fans, President Obama has reportedly taken offense. According to staffers that may have been overheard while drinking at a bar in or around the White House, Obama is livid that Seattle Sounders FC fans are up on their high horse.

Obama is rumored to have ranted -

"Look, first we had to deal the pretenders from Toronto, claiming to be the best expansion team, but what have they ever won. NOTHING! Now we've got these greenies from the Northwest claiming to be the best expansion franchise ever. What? Am I missing something? Did they win an MLS Cup in their first season? Please, they remind me those howling talking heads on Fox."

As of this writing, it is unclear what actions the President may choose to take. We asked around for some speculation and the majority think that Obama will offer to host the next 20 G-8 conferences, the World Bank/IMF meetings, and all future World Trade Organization meetings in the city of Seattle.