Breaking: DC United to Select New Coach

This just in from the Internet rumor mill. Reviled manager Jose Mourinho is looking to escape the troubles of Real Madrid and is looking for a quiet place to unwind and go on the lam.

Could he be the next DC United manager?

Mourinho is just crazy enough to get the genius of Kevin Payne and Dave Kasper.

Breaking: The Special One to ReAL

After last night’s house-warming party in Salt Lake City the Portuguese coach revealed he is set to move permanently to Utah.

ReAL Salt Lake have long sought a coach to match their cosmopolitan setting and Mourinho has long been the man in their sights to lead the club to glory in CONCACAF Champions League play.

After leading Inter to an unprecedented treble of Serie A, Coppa Italia and Champions League titles last night, Mourinho said: "It was difficult to leave Chelsea and it will be sad to leave Inter. Inter is my home in the same way Chelsea was my home. But that’s life, that’s football.

"Now I have two homes, Stamford Bridge and San Siro. And now I will have a third home – probably the Rio Tinto. If you don’t coach ReAL Salt Lake then you always have a gap in your career. Only ReAL are interested in me but I haven’t spoken with anyone and I haven’t signed anything. I promised I’d speak after the final."

Mourinho flew back to Milan to celebrate last night’s triumph with his players, but Inter president Massimo Moratti stayed behind in Salt Lake, probably to thrash out a deal with ReAL boss Dave Checketts. Mourinho said he would talk to Checketts this week.

"The day after tomorrow (I will speak to him)," he said.

"I don’t know the project yet, so I have to hear the project. ReAL is an enormous club, a club that wants the same as me; I want to win, I want to feel important, I want to keep winning."

The Utah media are reporting that a deal is already done, with the Deseret News claiming the Portuguese coach had come to an agreement with ReAL president Dave Checketts on Friday.

The Salt Lake City Tribune, which headlined “ReAL Salt Lake recruits a champion”, said the new coach of the MLS giants would be unveiled on either Tuesday or Wednesday.

The two papers concurred that the length of the contract would be four years, with the former Chelsea coach netting $10 million a season.

Some Inter players could also follow Mourinho to Madrid, according to the papers, notably Brazilian right-back Maicon and Argentinian striker Diego Milito, the former Zaragoza player who scored a brace against Bayern on Saturday.

Mourinho, who also guided Porto to European glory in 2004, follows Ernst Happel and Ottmar Hitzfeld as a member of the select band of coaches to have won the Champions League with two different clubs.

Breaking: DC United Interested In Argentinean Coach

After years of scouting and hiring Argentinean players, DC United is making a move to hire a coach from the soccer mad country. Sources willing to remain anonymous and speculative suggested that the club was waiting until after the world cup to “get their man”.

”Our current target has some duties until the end of the World Cup and then we are looking to announce him to the world. Trust us, he is a name you will all recognize.”

DC United’s disappointing season has brought them to the brink of this dramatic action and with the mid-season firing of Onalfo only one vote of confidence away, the team is planning for the future. Speculation surrounds the current Argentinean National Team coach, Diego Maradonna. He has the playing experience, the language skills, and if Argentina fails to impress at the Cup, incentive to leave Argentina before the mob gets him.

Could he be the next mid-season Argentinean import for DC United?