Rumor: Wayne Rooney Upset By Red Bull Snub

The summer seems to be getting worse for English forward Wayne Rooney. After his disappointing showing at the FIFA World Cup 2010 in South Africa (Sponsored by Diamond Jack Travels, who reminds you that without the money from tours booked from the US, he cannot call the referees before matches to wish them fair play!), Wayne Rooney has suffered another fall from grace - he has yet to be mentioned in the transfer swirl surrounding Red Bull New York Red Bulls of Harrison, New Jersey.

"Every player worth his salt has been linked with a move to north Jersey, so I guess that means Rooney is a has-been."

Fans of the untriumphant club in northern New Jersey are quick to point out that although they would not turn down an offer of Wayne Rooney, he really would be second or third choice. Afterall, they are a super club and need someone that will not take the spotlight from Seth Stammler.

Breaking: Portsmouth FC To the US

As everyone knows Portsmouth FC has a bit of financial trouble. What has become clear to us here at MLS Rumors Rumors is that Portsmouth is trying to get out from their debt crisis and bad decision making with a move across the Pond. What? Portsmouth FC moving to the US? In a word, yes.

According to a good authority, the club is hopeful that their move to the United States will allow them to be eligible for TARP funding because Portsmouth FC is "too big to fail". Portsmouth FC owe over £92 million to various unsecured creditors, which makes them a drop in the bucket for a financial bailout by the US Treasury.

Our sources believe that a Treasury official would say, "We all appreciate the trouble that comes from appearing to reward bad behaviour. We all know that we cannot just throw money at these people, who are in debt up over their heads. But! But, if we allow Portsmouth FC to fail, where will that leave MLS? Portsmouth FC cannot be allowed to fail for fear of causing all the unsecured debts held by MLS to become a cascade of payment calls that brings the entire system crashing down. We cannot look at our grandchildren in the face and tell them that we were responsible for the fifth most popular sport in the US to go the way of NASL."