ON THE MOVE: Blanco to Rapids for Gomez? [UPDATED]

Gomito: Heading to Chicago with his posse? (Photo by flickr user IntangibleArts, used, uh, well, without permission...sorry! and linked via creative commons license... Thanks dude!)

MLS Rumors² has learned that embittered Chicago midfielder Cuahtemoc "Our Supporters Are [Garbage]" Blanco has requested a trade to the Colorado Rapids. Our super-secret source wrote us the following:

Cuah really wants to be part of an organization that shares his philosophy regarding supporters. Colorado, with its proven track record of disdain for its own supporters groups, is just a natural fit. He knows that if he finds anyone the least bit annoying, he need merely gesture to security, and the entire section will be cleared. Quite frankly, no other team in MLS can match that level of contempt for its own fans. Red Bulls were close, but their recent move to replace NJSEA security in Section 101 is a real step backwards for them.

Meanwhile, Christian Gomez, who once famously joined DC United away supporters for a match at the Meadowlands and drummed until his hands blistered, will be a natural fit in Chicago, since, as our source put it: "He actually likes supporters. I think it has something to do with him being from Argentina, because none of us here can quite understand it."

UPDATE: Remember how we said Blanco was Beyond Parody? We lied.

BREAKING: Blanco Officially "Beyond Parody"

CHICACO, 17 August, 2008: Chicago Fire midfielder Cuahtemoc Blanco offically moved "beyond parody," according to a panel of MLS Rumors Rumors staff writers. This follows the volatile player's post-game quote that his own team's supporters (who were protesting allegedly racist behavior by stadium security) are "[garbage]." Of course, he didn't really say "garbage," but the Tribune is a family newspaper, so we here at MLS Rumors Rumors don't know what actual slur Blanco used. Feel free to let us know in the comments, since, well, we're not a family blog.

Mr. White celebrates an own-goal in front of Section 8

The slander was rendered extra-super-duper ironic, as it comes on the heels of Blanco's own run-ins with police and stadium security.

"There's just nothing we can make up that even approaches what Blanco does all on his own," said one MLS Rumors Rumors writer. "I mean, seriously, this guy has a disciplinary record a mile long (*cough* domesticviolence *cough*), and he's criticizing his own team's supporters as drunks and [garbage]? Wow. We just can't top that. It's not even worth trying. Frankly, I'm rather disillusioned by this whole situation. This has to be the lowest point of my making shit up career."